Family Day

In Ontario we celebrate Family Day on the third Monday in February. When our provincial government announced their plans for this new holiday in 2007 many people complained that a holiday in the middle of [our cold Canadian] February would be a waste of a vacation day. Some thought that Remembrance Day on November 11th would be a better choice. Others argued that another long weekend in the middle of the warm summer would be more enjoyable. At the time I didn’t give the debate much thought at all.

This year, with my new little family, I am so grateful for the day. We decided to invite Andy (Mac’s dad) to join us for the holiday weekend. He seemed amused by the concept. You Canadians and your happy-go-lucky-lets-all-hold-hands-and-love-each-other-holidays! But it was a good enough reason to board a plane and come visit his Canadian family.

Queers have a long history of recognizing and prioritizing our families of choice. Many of us (far too many of us) are excommunicated from our families of birth and to compensate for that loss we cling to our friend-families like life rafts. Tracy and I are some of the lucky ones. We both came from supportive families. And we have created a family of choice that has seen us through life’s struggles and celebrations. Our family is a perfect blend of blood and love.

On this Family Day we were privileged enough to be surrounded by that family. I am connected to Mac by blood, as is Andy. I am connected to Tracy by law. And our group of friends, who act as Mac’s aunts and uncles and cousins, are all interconnected by strong bonds built on love.

One day I will tell Mac about his first Family Day. I will tell him that his moms smothered him with kisses. I will tell him that it was an unusually warm February weekend but that his American dad still needed long johns and a parka. He didn’t complain about the cold when his son was snuggled next to his chest in the carrier though.

 
And I will tell him that he clung to his Auntie Tata as she rocked him to sleep – knowing that her arms are always a safe place.

I will tell him that his Auntie Rishma visited and that she brought his dad an Oilers toque so that he could match his son.

 
I will tell him that his uncle Brit helped his sore gums with the cold glass of a beer bottle.

And I will tell him how happy he was to be bounced around by his auntie Dharma as his cousin Cailey and I baked peanut butter cookies and squeezed 50 mini marshmallows into a cup of hot chocolate.

I will tell him that his first family day was filled with love and cuddles and giggles. And I will make sure he knows that although blood might be thicker than water, love is thicker than everything.

Happy Family Day from my family to yours!

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